urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown Jessica Jessica 2006-06-12T20:54:39Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:68651 2006-06-12T20:54:39Z 2006-06-12T20:54:39Z I'm really only doing this for Lindsay and Ariel. Also I am desperate to do anything but study.<br /><br />Lately:<br />- in the process of finishing my 2nd year at UCSC as a biology major<br />- in a relationship with a fantastic boy who makes me laugh constantly<br />- leaving on friday to be back in San Diego for a month<br />- moving in to my new apartment in downtown Santa Cruz<br />- figuring my shit out<br />- trying to be as optimistic as possible urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:68547 2005-08-30T19:04:39Z 2005-08-30T19:04:39Z Cat Power - No Sense I finally finished my tattoos, took almost 9 hours but I couldn't be happier with it. Other than that I am so ridiculously ready to go back to Santa Cruz but at the same time I have become really attached to my job at the coffee shop and the people that work there. Not to mention the idea of not spending most of my waking hours with Renee is enough to make me slightly upset. <br /><br /><br />Oh well, I always miss someone.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/sidesmaller1.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/frontsmaller.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:68162 2005-07-24T03:57:22Z 2005-07-24T03:57:22Z Maybe one day this summer I will do an actual update, but for now I just want to show this.<br /><br />I got them done two weeks ago at Avalon Tattoo and I couldn't be more happy with them. I'm going to start getting them colored in on thursday.<br /><br />Other than that all I do is work. Come visit me at Supreme Bean next to souplantation.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/1bkdgjal.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/154603842_l.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:68093 2004-12-05T22:07:47Z 2004-12-05T22:08:57Z Funny Little Man - Aphex Twin A breakdown of all of my relationships:<br /><br />The ones that look like they could work out - won't.<br />The ones that were good - will never be again.<br />The ones that were bad - will only get worse.<br /><br />It's so frustrating.<br /><br /><br /><br />Finals this next week. I don't think I am going to live through the Chemistry final but studying for three days straight should help a little. On thursday I come home. I'm looking forward to it because a form of high school drama has found its way into my life up here in Santa Cruz. That said, I know I will miss it here because there are some amazing people that I can't imagine not seeing everyday.<br /><br />I'm hopeful for next quarter. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:67593 2004-10-11T22:53:14Z 2004-10-11T22:53:14Z Smashing Pumpkins - Thirty-three I'm frustrated. <br /><br />Some of the people I thought I could rely on, don't seem to be able to hear me. Maybe it's just an issue of caring.<br /><br /><br />I'd really like to feel like I belong somewhere or with someone. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:67503 2004-10-01T19:59:37Z 2004-10-01T19:59:37Z !!! - There's No Fucking Rules, Dude So it had been two weeks since I moved in and I love it here.<br /><br />Some of the positive aspects:<br />- Fantastic roommate <br />- New friends<br />- Seeing select older friends more often<br />- Incredibly fast internet (I downloaded 700 songs in one evening)<br />- Interesting classes that make me question what I want to study in the long term<br />- Living in a forest<br />- Freedom<br />- All of my things in one place<br /><br />Negative aspects:<br />- Missing some of the people I left<br />- Classes that I literally fall asleep in<br />- Lack of car<br /><br /><br />I'm so glad I ended up here. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:66697 2004-09-09T04:49:26Z 2004-09-09T04:58:18Z Portishead - Glory Box So now that summer is almost over I thought I would summarize.<br /><br />- Went on what could have been a great vacation with my family. Turned out to be very hellish with constant sea sickness and living on a boat.<br /><br />- Went up to Santa Cruz for orientation. I passed my Chemistry placement test and met Andrew who is fantastic.<br /><br />- Left San Diego to go on a 3 week trip to all around Europe with my best friend Joelle. It was amazing. I saw so many things I will never forget and met a ton of nice people.<br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/Europeandbefore259.jpg"><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/Europeandbefore278.jpg"><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/Europeandbefore409.jpg"><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/Untitled-17987.jpg"><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/viewofrhine5.jpg"><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/Europeandbefore421.jpg"><br /><br /><br /><br />- Recieved my AP scores, I am extremely happy with them.<br /><br />- Went to visit my grandparents in Texas... not so good.<br /><br />- Talked to my future roommate and she seems very nice.<br /><br />- Went to visit Samantha in LA before she moved.<br /><br />- I got my conches punched at a 4 gauge and I like them a lot although they are way too painful right now.<br /><br /><a name="cutid2"></a><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/happyconchsmall.jpg"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I've spent a lot of time with Shaun this summer. It's nice to have someone like him.<br /><br /><br />Now I am waiting for school to start. I only have a week left and it seems like I have been waiting forever. I am kind of disapointed how few of my friends I have seen this summer, hopefully I will be able to get in contact with a good number of them to see them one last time before I move. <br /><br />What kind of class makes you read a book and write an essay before you have even moved in to the college? Gah urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:66271 2004-07-17T15:44:55Z 2004-07-17T15:44:55Z I have decided that maybe I should not come home and just stay in Europe forever.<br /><br />The summer is going to be so boring after this. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:65996 2004-06-29T04:45:20Z 2004-06-29T04:45:20Z I am in love with UC Santa Cruz. I went to orientation this weekend and it was pointless but a lot of fun. I met some really fantastic people.<br /><br />Although I have yet to sign up for classes because I had to take the chemistry placement exam today it looks as if I will be taking Chem 1B, Crown's Core class on cyborgs and Biology 20C.<br /><br />Now for a few days to get things together with Joelle before we head off to Europe! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:65735 2004-06-14T00:47:58Z 2004-06-14T00:47:58Z Stone Temple Pilots - Sex Type Thing I finally graduated. I would like to thank the streakers for making the whole affair very classy.<br /><br />Zach Craig's goal made me think of all the books I wanted to read this summer. So far this summer I have read "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown. I liked it because of all the art history in it but I become bored with books that have all action and no character depth.<br /><br />The books I am planning to read this summer (hopefully I will get through more than these) are:<br />"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" by Hunter S. Thompson<br />"The Best Democracy Money Can Buy" by Greg Palast<br />"Mother Night" by Kurt Vonnegut<br />"A Moveable Feast" by Ernest Hemmingway<br />"Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Bronte<br />and "Daughter of Fortune" by Isabel Allende<br /><br />any other recommendations are welcome.<br /><br />I hope this summer goes well. I can tell I am going to have to work hard.<br /><br />I'm ready. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:65431 2004-06-04T00:19:23Z 2004-06-04T00:20:56Z Smashing Pumpkins - Today I thought graduation was suppose to be a happy time. Instead it is causing all sorts of strife in my family. I only have 5 tickets but I have 3 parents, 2 grandparents, 1 sibling and 2 close family friends that really need to come. So far with trying to divide the tickets up I have made my mother and father yell and my stepmother cry. Fantastic.<br /><br />Honestly, I don't think it's about tickets. As my father said, it's about who I put on my "A-list". I'm not quite sure why it is such a big deal, they all knew I was going to graduate high school eventually right?<br /><br />I think I'm just upset because I hurt people when I didn't even consider it a possibility.<br /><br />Tonight I will go through the Santa Cruz catalog and pick what classes I want to take while I am there and figure out some kind of schedule for freshman year.<br /><br />Or maybe I will just try to flunk out of high school in the next three days so I don't have to worry about any of this. Yep- there's the winner. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:65223 2004-05-23T23:13:17Z 2004-05-23T23:13:17Z Prom was a lot of fun but I can't believe it's over already. These pictures are not the best but we can blame my mom for that.<br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/Untitled-1465.jpg" alt="Jessica" and="and" ben="Ben" /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img72.photobucket.com/albums/v220/rocketdog101/Untitled-18.jpg" alt="Jessica" and="and" ben="Ben" /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:65014 2004-05-18T11:03:47Z 2004-05-18T11:05:10Z Tristeza - Panic Power I am quitting my job and the closer I come to my last day, the more upset I become about it. Although it's probably not the most convenient thing for me to being doing right now, going to work was almost an escape because no one really knew me there so I could come across any way I wanted. Hopefully I will be able to stay in contact with the four people I actually like there. <br /><br />I have decided to step away from boys for awhile. I tried, it does not seem to be working out on all sorts of levels so there must be a reason for it. On the other hand, I have decided to put some real effort into seeing some of my friends I don't talk to as often.<br /><br />Prom is this coming saturday and although I am just going with a friend, I am looking forward to an amazing time. Tons of pictures will follow.<br /><br /><br /><br />The only worthwhile thing I seem to do anymore is read, and "Welcome to the Monkey House" by Kurt Vonnegut is just what I need. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:64551 2004-04-27T22:29:47Z 2004-04-27T22:31:19Z Sleepytime Gorilla Museum - Sleep is wrong - I've decided to go to Santa Cruz, I think I would be happier there than the other schools I was deciding out of.<br /><br /> - Only 29 days of school left.<br /><br /> - I'm once again tired of the state we are in. Why doesn't there seem to be anything between fantastic and painful?<br /><br /> - 41 days until I explore a new continent with my dearest Joelle.<br /><br /> - I've stopped sleeping because I can't seem to manage to start.<br /><br /><br /><br />Does anyone have any music to recommend other than Anton (who always helps a girl out) ? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:64469 2004-03-02T05:04:20Z 2004-03-02T05:06:03Z A Silver Mt. Zion - American motor over smoldered field I got into UC Santa Cruz and Cal Poly San Luis Obispo in the last few days! Just waiting to hear back from the rest but it is nice to be accepted to some schools I would actually go to.<br /><br />I feel as if I'm just waiting for things to begin. Senior year is getting harder to get through as I seem to be getting lazier. It's come to the point where I have all of the weekend to do homework and I don't do a single piece of it.<br /><br />Work is okay although I am thinking of quiting, I can't deal with the gossip around there. You would think that adults would be able to act their age, but apparently that is harder than it sounds. I'm so uncomfortable when I go in there. Hopefully it will get better.<br /><br /><br />The relationship is going. We've slipped back into old habits and the comfortable surroundings.<br /><br />I've been researching my tattoo and I believe I have found the artist I want. I always think about getting a tattoo but I have never been this close before. <br /><br />and tomorrow <b><big>I vote!!</b></big> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:64090 2004-01-23T04:36:39Z 2004-01-23T04:36:39Z It seems appropriate to update on my birthday.<br /><br />Today was a fantastic day. I had two finals but I ended up doing really well on both economics and physiology which was really nice.<br /><br />Then I went about exploring the new freedoms that come with being 18:<br />- Got a new piercing <br />- Went into a sex store<br />- Went into the smoking section of The Black <br /><br />Now I am waiting to vote in the primary.<br /><br /><br />Other than that all I have been doing is going to school and work. I need to make my life more interesting. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:63788 2003-11-20T06:27:21Z 2003-11-20T23:26:56Z I finished all of my college applications. I put off my homework to complete them so, the relief of having them done has not quite come.<br /><br />I applied to 10 schools. One has to be willing to take me, right? <br />The schools are:<br />UC Berkeley<br />UC Los Angeles<br />UC San Diego<br />UC Santa Cruz<br />UC Santa Barbra<br />UC Davis<br />UC Irvine<br />San Francisco State <br />Cal Poly San Luis Obispo<br />Cal Poly Pomona<br /><br />One has to be willing to take me, right? <br /><br />I think I may be too much of a basket case to deal with the whole waiting period.<br /><br />edit: I just recieved my San Francisco State admissions letter! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:63608 2003-10-26T23:13:20Z 2003-10-26T23:13:20Z 50 houses already burned down in Scripps Ranch.<br /><br />I wonder if my house is still standing? Apparently my dog has been rescued. I can't think. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:63272 2003-10-03T23:30:39Z 2003-10-03T23:30:39Z Silver Mt. Zion - Goodbye Desolate Railyard Jessica + (Deftones Ticket)^2 + (homework x 6 classes) - (eyebrow piercing) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:63072 2003-09-30T04:31:32Z 2003-09-30T04:36:56Z Hood - I can't find my Brittle Youth This school year has been moving quickly. My classes have been fine with my favorite probably being Physiology. College applications are sneaking up on me and I'm more than a little nervous. I really wish I had started working harder earlier, it almost seems like a waste to be taking all these classes in my senior year.<br /><br />Enough about school.<br /><br />Last night I went to Radiohead which was a ton of fun. Thanks Jaryd.<br />My senior pictures arrived in the mail, see below.<br /><br /><img src="http://images.snapfish.com/3387%3A%3C6723232%7Ffp3%3B%3Dot%3E2323%3D53%3C%3D873%3D323253%3C78264%3Cnu0mrj"><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://images.snapfish.com/3387%3A%3C6723232%7Ffp3%3B%3Dot%3E2323%3D53%3C%3D873%3D323253%3C782653nu0mrj"><br /><br />meh.<br /><br /><br /><br />Hmm... things really aren't that exciting. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:62856 2003-09-14T21:25:15Z 2003-09-14T21:25:15Z Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in<br />waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the<br />frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses<br />and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed<br />ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:62275 2003-09-05T01:53:15Z 2003-09-05T01:53:15Z I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand <br /><br /><br />Things I worried about hours ago seem very unimportant. He called half an hour before to ask if Mark and I were coming over. What if we had? My brother was 10 feet in front of Evan, what if he had been hurt? He called my dad. My dad is there now. I have never hated someone so much before. In one selfish act he destroyed so many lives. He was 14! How can someone who my entire family considered a close friend end up to be someone like this? IT'S NOT FAIR TO ANYONE. <br /><br />I'm not so sure I'm going to school tomorrow, my mother wants my brother and I to go to the therapist.<br /><br />This seems like more than an appropriate time to tell how much you all mean to me. Life is so short.<br /><br />sldfslkjdlkf urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:62076 2003-08-29T05:45:51Z 2003-08-29T05:45:51Z Under a Dying Sun - Breath in Went to Los Angeles for the day to see my friend Samantha. That was a welcomed retreat. It was also a nice reminder that I can get along well with people other than Mary.<br /><br />Senior year schedule:<br />1. AP Psychology<br />2. French 1,2<br />3. AP Economics<br />4. Physiology<br />5. Calculus<br />6. AP English<br /><br />I'm a little haggard and I have a hunch that this is just the beginning. That said, I'm still trying to be optimistic considering that the finish line is in sight.<br /><br /><br />I feel as if I've changed a lot this summer. I hope that turns out to be a good thing. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:61584 2003-08-15T06:50:33Z 2003-08-15T06:50:33Z Hella - Better get a broom! I don't think the sky could have been more beautiful. These pictures show why I love San Diego so much.<br /><br /><img src="http://images.snapfish.com/3383%3B59523232%7Ffp47%3Dot%3E2329%3D887%3D79%3C%3Dxroqdf%3E232343263%3A588ot1lsi"><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://images.snapfish.com/3383%3B59523232%7Ffp47%3Dot%3E2329%3D887%3D79%3C%3Dxroqdf%3E232343263%3A587ot1lsi"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:spiraldown:60926 2003-08-05T03:15:40Z 2003-08-05T03:15:40Z I come home to find my dog missing.<br /><br />If you happen to see a black lab with a blue collar named Cinder please try and contact me.